Chapter 17

You know when people say that girls never forget what you say to them? It's the truth. If you say something rude to a girl, she'll remember it forever. Even if you say something nice she'll remember it. 

A few days ago, Chris called me fat. It was around my friends so I couldn't react how I wanted to. All I said was "he's a douche" and then my friends joked about him and I put on that perfect little fake smile to get myself through. That whole time I was thinking about how I agreed with him. I didn't eat for the rest of the day. Not even an apple. Ever since, I haven't been able to forget about what he said. It's been in my head all day and reminding me not to eat because I'm such a fat ass. 

There's this guy on American Idol named Ethan Harris. He's my absolute favourite on the show and he followed me on Twitter and talked to me a bit. Ava and Julia also like him so we made his fandom name the Ethaners because why not? Here's some things he's said to me:

So yeah, he's a sweet guy and I just have a feeling he's going to make it far. I've already bought his album, that's how much I like him. 

I'm talking to Rose and Clark again. Rose doesn't know that no one has really spoke to Clark in a while so she decided to make a group chat consisting of me, Clark, Becky, Randy and of course, her. Randy never talks on it but Becky, Rose and I talk a lot. Clark likes to jump in every once in a while which is a step up from not speaking at all for months on end. I really missed Clark, he's one of my favourite people in the world and it hurt so much when he wouldn't talk to me. 

Love always, 

Maddy Iverson. 

Chapter 16

Right now I'm procrastinating writing chapter 31 of Abused. I just can't right and I need to get it done because I uploaded a chapter last night and I need the next one done! 

Anyways, today is Monday and I didn't have school.  Yay for American holidays! So yesterday I spent the whole day listening to Fangirl and watching This Is Us since I just got it at Target. It was a very relaxing day and I wish I could have another day like that one. I was absolutely carefree and I felt really good about the day. 

On Saturday, Julia came to my house for the first time. We attempted watching The Perks Of Being a Wallflower but my family interrupted and we went to her house. We are some pizza and played Minecraft for a while before we watched a few scenes from Rocky Horror. That was fun too. 

January is passing quickly. Last January I kinda went through this stage where I wouldn't talk to anyone at all and it lasted a long time. While this January I'm trying to have fun and it's working. Just like they say, time passes fast when you're having fun. I only have a few more months left, I think I can get through it and then I'm in high school. 

Love always, 

Maddy Iverson

Chapter 15

My problem with these is that I keep telling myself to do them and then I forget so I forget for quite a while. I need to work on that. 

So today I skipped school. Nothing interesting came from it except getting to sleep longer and being home alone for a few hours. It was fun though. I read for a while and planned some of my new story. Hell, I even named it today. It took a while but I finally chose What We Had because I'm going to kill off the main guy in the end like John Green. Oops? 

I still haven't spoken to Lizzy. She's being a bitch to Julia about it and keeps asking her to give her homework over so she can copy it. Although Lizzy got a few assignments from Julia, she's failing a few classes and the others are soon-to-be failing classes. Not only that but she also has this friend Rachel that's apparently a girlfriend. Lizzy's known her for a few months and they're already planning on Lizzy going to Manchester (Rachel lives there) so they can meet up. But I have a feeling Rachel isn't who Lizzy thinks she is. 

Julia and I have been getting closer. We're constantly texting and hanging out mostly on the weekends. I can remember when I started this, I didn't like her but now I do. On Saturday we went to the mall and before that I would just go over to her house and we would talk for hours and play Minecraft. Doing all of this with her is making me feel like a normal teenager and not who I was a year ago let alone months ago. 

Makenna is reading a lot too. She seems to think that reading is the only thing that matters when in reality, she should be doing her homework. I know she has it but as soon as she got home she started reading and hasn't stopped since. Literally. She didn't even eat dinner or take a shower. 

Speaking of books, I got 100,000 reads on Abused! I started crying when I saw it and screamed because I never expected this. When I started writing it, I thought i would get a hundred reads or so but 100,000?! That's absolutely incredible and seriously a dream come true. I had always dreamed of getting 100,000 and now I have accomplished it. It's an indescribable feeling. 

Love always,

Maddy Iverson. 

Chapter 14

I'm only doing this entry so early so I don't forget. But hey, it's still an entry. 

So I've finally gotten one of my books! It's the only one that has come so far and it's called Voluntary Madness: My Year Lost and Found in the Loony Bin and I haven't started it yet but I know it's going to be good. I'm saying that it's research for a book I'll be writing but I don't know if I'll actually be writing the book. I'm planning on writing it (if I do) during November for NaNoWriMo but as I said before, I don't know yet. 

I still haven't talked to Lizzy. She keeps asking Julia about me and stuff which is annoying both her and me. Honestly, I don't want to talk to her. It wasn't just the fact that she assumed that but she assumed it without knowing anything about my life which pissed me off. She doesn't know that I'm starving myself every night, how I slit my wrist or even about my inner demons. She doesn't know about my schizophrenia or anxiety. She knows absolutely nothing about me yet she goes and says "I bet my life is ten times worse than yours" when she knows nothing about me. 

So not only is it awkward during lunch when Julia has to sit in the space between us but during Maths when I sit in the aisle seat and next to Lizzy. I think our teacher has noticed too because we're usually talking a lot and it's been toe days of that class (because of winter break) and I've been absolutely silent except when she asks me a question. 

Unlike last year, I'm actually keeping up with my homework and keeping my grades up. I have all A's and B's except for two classes. Science because I did bad on a test so getting in more assignments will raise it and then English. Only now have I found out that I'm missing a worksheet so I'm going to get that done and turn it in. That's actually a huge improvement from last year since I had about 6 missing assignments from each class and was basically failing everything. It makes me happy that I'm not in that place anymore. 

To improve my English and writing skills, I've decided to start editing peoples stories. So I put a post on an editor thread on Wattpad and got a ton of responses. Sadly, I'm not able to do them all but I have a few that I'm doing to help with that. Not only am I helping myself, but I'm helping other people. Whether it's the hundreds of people reading it, thankful to the correct grammar or the person writing it. It makes me happier as well. 

So I think that's it. I'll try not to forget another post like I did last time but I can't make any promises!

Love always,

Maddy Iverson